I Am Not My Sister's Keeper

SoOoOoO...Anyone out there ever dated someone then a close friend, sibling or cousin dates them?

I think that's a bit odd. I mean I would never want anyone whose been anywhere near my best friend's mouth ( I love you girl ) But still it's almost like incest.

Now, has anyone ever done it as a result of feeling that your mate was cheating so you try to corrupt their minds?

I was just thinking of it. After listening to the Gerald Levert "Eyes and Ears" I was like wow...Sean that's your brother's woman and you trying to get in it? Oh just to spite her.

And I'll knock your black ass out. Good Looking Out Gerald!


RIP Both of you.

Down Low Brothers and Their Affect On the Community

I have always known that gay black men were out there. I have always done my best to stay away from them but it's hard to do that when they seem to be everywhere. They seem to have varying ways of infiltrating all forms of society. Just yesterday I met two down low black men. Both of them told me that it appeared I would be comfortable with their behavior and bi-curious ways. The first one I quickly dismissed the second one I took the time to listen and I learned for one, there's nothing wrong with women, it's just like an itch or a need that they feel the need to pay attention. I wonder if there's a common link here. Is it that they feel a need to be dominated? Has society made these men feel as though they need to do more to feel love.

Furthermore, the bisexual thing is also catching me off guard. It's not enough to have a woman, but you also need a man AND some of them want these men to come into their marriages. Are you serious?!?!!?!? If my husband, boyfriend, friends with benefits, whatever told me that he wanted to bring another woman in my bed I'd raise an eyebrow, but another man!?!? And for his pleasure? Somebody definitely has lost their minds.

In this day and age of cheating, lying and broken marriages don't we already have enough to deal with...notwithstanding the high AIDS rates. No wonder HIV is running rampant through the black community from babies to teens to even grandmothers you would think we would all take better care, yet sadly many women are just so glad to have a man on their arm who pays the bills that they will accept this behavior. Absolutely appalling.

For a taste of exactly how men are getting away with this click here.

And do you all think about this? Is this a fad? Is it going to be the downfall of the black community?

Tell me your thoughts.

Why Can't A Woman Ask

I was having a discussion today with one of the best men I know. I randomly told him that I feel that black women in this generation are not as bad off as we think. In fact, we are not as scarred as we think. We have been one of the most privileged group of all time. For those of us who aren't we have taken that to shape us into better women.

Today's young black woman gets angry about lack of child support, men being dogs, etc. Yet, we are not realizing that we are strong enough to handle all of these things on our own. We are strong women whose mothers and grandmothers paved the way for us. Those women understood what it was like to have to walk in the back door, be stay at home moms and make it work off of $100 monthly if that. We really don't have it so bad, but if there is a problem we swear up and down that it's the black man's fault. And then, we will see one that we think is a good one we will damned near walk around the building because we know he's attractive but we don't wanna ask him out.

LADIES! You can walk right up to a man, introduce yourself and ask for his number. It's 2008. I think the men would appreciate it they have to deal with facing rejection far more than we ever have. Think about it, all you have to do is look half decent and you will get holla'ed at no matter what.

Think about it...you might find the man of your dreams this way.

Exactly Why You Should Wait....

If you’re 13, 14, 15 and you have sex, this is not gourmet stuff. Nobody’s buying you a bottle of wine and candlelight and putting some romantic music on. No, you’re in the clothes closet or down near the dryer or dishwasher saying, ‘Hurry up before my mother comes home.’ That’s why you don’t know the boy’s name.
- Bill Cosby

Now I wasn't even really gonna say anything but when I read this quote...it just came to me. Somebody somewhere needs to do something. Young women are going to die and we're killing ourselves for love. Young women in this 13, 14, 15 year old category are going to die of HIV because they don't know any better. No one is teaching them to watch out for themselves, to have some self-esteem or to know their worth. Some of them have mothers and fathers in jail, while others have fathers who walked out or never knew they existed and still yet there are some with mothers who are tricking in the street because they never learned better.

It saddens me. While I am young, I know what it's like to be wined and dined. I know every man I've been with, what he does for a living and in some cases his Social Security Number. Yes, I've got it down to a fine art.

I digress.

Anyways...sometime I look at soon to be 14 year old cousin and I want to scream because I know I can stop her from having to face pain and heartache and she doesn't even know. Hell, I'm still swallowing those big girl pills. It's just so damned difficult. With an alarming rate of men going to jail, coming out with a trade and going back to his rural (non HIV educated) community and spreading himself around (because he can make money thus telling women no condom) we are rampantly being infected and bearing infected children.

What can be done about this problem? Does anyone think Obama, as the first black president, can try to band-aid the AIDS crisis in Black America?

Reciprocity

So this morning I had a very interesting conversation with a very interesting man.

He was pretty damned amazing on all levels: funny, smart, creative, etc. then we "discussed" a little mind sex. From this I told him he was so good at it I could have cooked him brunch right then. He replied that he'd "bust some suds". I was shocked because I am not used to a man wanting to this and he replied that it was a partnership and when you give help you get help. From an educated, black male I was not shocked. But I was grateful that I even ran across this person. This leads me to believe that there are good black men out there, if they have not been burned by some "buckethead" chick who really doesn't give a damned.

Now, this is not to say that a man should be a simp, however, if he is with a good woman who treats him as though he is a good man then he could act accordingly. Now these are just random thoughts, which should make a cohesive argument that black men and women can live together and raise families if we just had a little reciprocity.